Friday, December 08, 2006

Show me the money

Greetings, I hope you are all well and looking forward to the seasons festivities and that you were all smart enough to have booked your holidays now for next years Christmas last minute aid interferences.

We enter the time of the office parties, the department dinners, the teams pissups and the units trip to the seaside resort of your choice, no doubt the usual batch of stories will filter up, the police service is not immune to the Christmas party mistakes ... we are also in full fly of the annual antidrink drive campaign that lasts the festive period then we are tasked to some other equality meaningful priority as soon as possible, and begs the question where are all the traffic officers gone?

Of course all this drink and fun brings its usual community policing skills to the fore of the lost mobile phone while drunk revilers crawl in to the stations shouting “ honest officer it was pick pocked, can I have a crime number for my insurance please “ – which then inevitably follows the “drunk” later after reviewing cctv and speaking to the network provider resulting in their arrest and £80 fine or charge. Why report a crime that did not happen? We do check you know…

Myself I have had my head firmly stuck in Blackstone’s and various other books in the vain attempt to get bits of obscure law in to my grey matter as the 2007 March OSPRE Part One exam looms on with ever increasing speed… I must be mad to want to be a sergeant; this of course has meant I have neglected this blog however I have not forgotten about it.

Thanks to all of you who sent emails of concern regaling my welfare, I am still alive and no I haven’t been carted of some dark coroner of the Met.

Have a fantastic and safe Christmas, and I will write before then I am sure.

PS. Oh we got the 3% .... lucky us.


Saturday, August 12, 2006

Oh dear

Oh bugger.

Any one got some tips for air travel ? I had planned on flying with Ryan air and skipping out on the extra charge for luggage by using hand luggage however it appears some naughty people have scuppered that idea. I would love to hear from anyone who was affected by the recent actions and restrictions now in place, drop me a line.
On more interesting news the Proceeds of crime act has lowered the bar for cash seizures , This has dropped from Five thousand to a meager One thousand pounds (Or believed to be that amount) that can be seized under POCA if it is believed to be ill gotten gains. Interesting times ahead I think here. Just dont forget to bring the court fee when you make your application, filling in an expence form later is a right pain in the backside.

Once again in this post I am drawing attention to the fantastic BIKESAFE program.
If your a fellow 2 wheel head, you should - nay must get yourself on this program at some point
It will save lifes.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Blessed sleep

I envy my response/team colleagues, Shift patterns mean they get sleep at some point.
Late hours and long working periods , weekend on - cover & night duty all on top of prisoner that are proper long cases have meant that I am cream crackered.

This time of the year its not helped with people on holidays and annual leave meaning that the work of 4 is been done by two - just.

Yea sure there are all the regs about workhours etc , but I can tell you Mrs TBL is not best pleased. I am sure new shoes will be the order of the day with my pay packet no doubt about that.

There has so much been going on in the media that I leave it to those better able to argue points to address all the goings on, but I do despair with the level of violence of the assaults I have been dealing with lately.

I think I am just dog tired.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and its not that of an on coming train.
Holidays loom for myself towards the end of the month, Mrs TBL and I will be getting out of this country to some where not quite so hot !

Oh I am rambling now.
Good night, sleep well.

Saturday, July 08, 2006


A special thanks to a reader for sorting me out a free google email address

Cheers! Spam away folks !

Saturday, July 01, 2006

It is now.

Its all over now ..

Is it now time for Sven to go ?

Should Rooney get a kicking ?

Any one off to Nandos for refs ?

... bring me back some peri peri nuts.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Should we ?

Well, would you ? Should we ?

Is it an option for response officers attending a call ? Should we still have to rely on our excellent and well trained Armed colleges to make a dash from where ever they are to assist ?

Its almost one year on since the tragic incident with Jean Charles de Meneze, have we moved on?

How many more police officers have to be shot, stabbed and murdered before there is a change in policy ?

Saturday, June 24, 2006

A day out with friends

There I was, suited and booted, pressed clean and tidy - the eight large bound box files and big plastic bag of exhibits in the boot of the car, yes it was a court day.

A long running investigation of mine based on a habitual prolific burglar was coming to the end, he had been found arrested and charged with over 8 domestic burglaries and I the officer in charge of the case now at crown court.

Forensic, witness ,CCTV and ID evidence all tied up and in tow for what I understood was going to be a full blown trial, So far he had pleaded not guilty at the previous hearings etc, I estimated I had spent over 22 full work days (10+) hour days on this single person while conducting my other investigations and had been the reason for my lack of sleep and lack of updates on the site.

however the light was oncoming and this time it was not that of an oncoming train.

Court !

After struggling getting the papers and exhibit to the police room, I ventured of to find the cps prosecutor.
Then the world went dark.

. Where are the papers officer...
. I have mine in the police room ...
.. no where is my copy...
.. whut > ...

.. I haven’t read the case yet ... can you tell me in five minutes what’s it all about....

I felt like screaming... this was not funny.

Then my lucky angel came to the rescue.. At the door of the court he changed his plea to guilty.
(He had seen me struggle into court with all the gear and had recognised me!)

Oh thank god for that... no doubt the cps will claim it as a success.

Professional? You decide.

Friday, June 09, 2006

I want to ride my bicycle

While doing a bit of research for my global plan for world domination I have come the conclusion that cyclists need to be regulated.

Yes you heard me.

I firmly believe all users of the highways and by ways must have in some form 3rd party insurance. Oh no I hear you cry...

I firmly believe that all bicycles should be registered and bear a unique registration code. Oh no I hear you cry...

Ideas and comments welcome.

( don't ask about how to admin it all - im not a civil servant )

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Burglary.... oh

I wonder, how many of my readers are using a laptop ?

I know all are using some form of computer to connect to the internet...
I know most of you will have some form of ipod/digital camera and in all likely hood a mobile phone and various other techie gagets...

Now here is a question, how many of you have the serial numbers / IEMI number or have marked your property ?

Could you prove your ownership of your techie tools ?
Are they marked with smartwater, datadots, Uv pens and the like ?

Is your property on the Immobilse database ?

Why not..... you have the internet , you do not have any excuse.

Register it, and at least give us a chance to catch the handlers and pondlife as they pass the goods around..

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I am not English, however.....

Disclaimer : I am not English, I am not even British, but take pride in your heritage and fly your flag

Friday, May 12, 2006

Drinking and driving ... Again !

There must be some sort of "just in the right place" angel that has been following me lately.

On my way home from another day at the coal face of dirty CID work ( office lunch ) I was heading home on my motorbike when I witnessed a personal injury road traffic accident.

A cyclist was leaving a roundabout a short distance in front of me and was just about to exit when from his left a large estate motor vehicle failed to stop at the stop line and carried on to the round about at some turn of speed and knocked down the cyclist ... When I say knocked down it was more like sent flying into the air to be deposited with a bone crunching thud behind the car after traveling over the roof. I duly pulled over and raced over to the now prone former cyclist.

thankfully nothing more than a few scrapes and cuts, the driver on the otherhand staggered over to us both and reeked of alcohol.... This was at about 4pm in the afternoon midweek.

I placed a call on my mobile to the yard asking for an ambulance to check out the cyclist in case of underlying injuries and for a marked unit to attend to report and breath test this man.

He gave a positive result to the roadside test and was arrested .

It is a constant battle against those who think its ok to drink and drive, and those who have this cavalier attitude put others lives at risk more than their own.

Its quite simple, to figure out - Do not drink and drive ... EVER .. There is NO SAFE limit.

Saturday, May 06, 2006


Just a cautionary note to the wise,
One of the tools of the modern police service is now the common place PND ( penalty notice for disorder )
There are two levels a £40 and £80 fine.

An interesting point to note. .. Is that it must be issued by an officer in uniform..

One to remember if your in a plain clothes department.
oops :)

Monday, April 17, 2006

Work work work...

I must say it’s been a while, and it has been due to the workload!
I have literally been getting up going direct to work, doing about 14 hours a day and coming home directly to bed, rinse and repeat...

On top of all this I have been squeezing in gym sessions and eating more healthy and as a result I have lost 2 stone! Clearly I am doing something right. But at the expense of having some form of a social life.

I haven’t posted about the met's policy on blogging, mainly because its fairly straight forward and sensible and I see little to worry about it, I am sorry to see some blogs stop of course, that will always be the authors decision on the matter anyway.

There has been a lot in the news about officers been shot, injured and murdered recently and it brings home how dangerous this job really is, it’s easy to forget how violent the world can really get. My thoughts and best wish’s go out to all those effected by such trauma.

A few days a go I heard good news and that my TDC application (application to train as a detective constable) had been approved by the board and I will soon be embarking on my detective training! Oh noes more study .. ha.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Just gimme the drugs...

Further to my last post,
I am back home now and on good olde pain medicine ... and it is yummy!
I am surprised however about the lack of seeing any of the management or senior officers popping in to check that I really am Ill! I am sure that my crime list is getting longer an no doubt the crime management unit have sent me loads of emails and memos to do some such pointless thing...

I must say I am a bit miffed by the absence of anyone popping in to check that I was in hospital and not on a jolly in some far-flung sunny place...

I suppose they know how much they pay me...

Monday, March 13, 2006

Oh Bugger

Sorry for the lack of post’s, I have undoubtedly been sidelined with a hospital stay, All is well, and I am doing fine –
A minor road traffic collision necessitated me having a few days while they do x-rays and scans an all other malarkey.
However I now have limited internet (yay!) in the form of an hp Ipaq to while away the hours. (Thanks darling!)

Once I figure out how to use it to post that is.

Monday, March 06, 2006


Two years and a little bit more and May is looming on the horizon, its the time the new copper takes a look at where he or she is , and takes stock of where he or she wants to be this time next year.

Open posts and vacancies are advertised internally on what is called police notices, here lists of new police officers, transferee , resignations and other useful and interesting tit bits are recorded and published for all to pick over.

Of course on spotting something you quite fancy comes the inevitable application form and the associated paperwork !

They say a change is as good as a move, and thinking about that it always seems that the station is in a constant state of flux with new officers joining and those transferring to other boroughs and forces, even internal changes with department moves and promotions - it is easy to loose touch with friends.

With that in mind I have started a ball rolling about the old Hendon class I was with and looking to have some sort of re union or at least some form of pub bash... Yes yes , So what would make a good bash, I ask you ?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Ron Greenwood 1921-2006

I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air,

They fly so high,

Nearly reach the sky,

And like my dreams,

They fade and die,

Fortunes always hiding,

I looked everywhere,

I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air.

The Hammers ™

Whois - Whodunnit ?

Interesting this incident, It merits a watchful eye over the coming months.
Click here

Monday, February 06, 2006

Lost paperwork

I like to think I am professional and responsible, someone who accepts their workload and acts in a diligent and efficient manner.

That means I have all my casefile work on the old harddrive at work and make copies of statements that I keep to hand on file in case of hiccups as I don't trust other buggers not to fudge it.

Well bully for me.

It seems these last few days the CPS however have made repeated attempts to land me in the proverbial shitter
So far THIS month and bear in mind its the 6th !

They have :

1) Lost an entire set of case papers
A) I found them in the cps office under a coffee maker ruined.

2) Lost a set of MG 6 series and then attempted to say they didn't get it.
B) They were sent and a CPU supervisor has signed them - had to print them off again

3) Issued me a court warning when I am due to be out of the country (Ignored duty system)
C) 728 Sent to C/Insp and court date moved.

4) Refused to give ADVICE on a MONDAY because and I quote... "Mondays are for custody cases'" and there was " NO ONE IN CUSTODY "
d) I have submitted a complaint.....

I don't know about you, but I have wasted a whole days worth with this.
The CPS have a mission statement which you can read here

Well now lets see Mondays are for custody cases.... Surely Monday is to bloody late and if they are from over night, we will have contacted CPS direct. Who btw I have NO problem with at all, just email or fax the whole lot over and about an hour later you get an email back with an MG3 !

As for loosing paperwork.. That gets my goat. I really feel embarrassed to have a witness sign a second copy of their statement because some faceless paper monkey has lost it and sent me an email saying they never got it. Something VERY wrong there.

So my advice to any of you dealing with heavy case loads is two fold

Save every casefile - file on your computer in a case folder
Make Copies of ALL statements and exhibits and keep them.

Its simple as A.B.C.

Accept nothing
Believe no one
Confirm everything

Saturday, January 28, 2006


Well lucky me,

that's it folks, all the paperwork has been signed and stamped.
As of a few days ago I was properly confirmed in the role of police constable.

Let the party and drinking commence.

So what now, Well I am working with the suits at the moment, which appears on the face of it more adult and practical police work. (less of the knee jerk reaction to graphs and tables)

The last few days have been busy busy busy , working weekend on with just the team of four and the Ds. I am not quite sure if I want to write about what's gone on, its hardly exciting stuff just getting down and arresting and processing members of the public who have committed offences. There is just one thing I will never understand tho, why do they lie even when we tell them (sic) we have all the evidence to hand. Is there some secret I am not privy to ?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Ms Dynamite sentenced

So Ms Dyamite has been sentenced,
The result.

To Pay £50 Costs and a £500 fine, a £750 Compensation to the constable assaulted and 60 hours community service.

Now before we all get on the moral high horse, personaly think that's a fair sentence for an open hand slap across the face.

However, time and time again we have examples of those before the judiciary getting a low level fine and been told to be quite that the personal financial background limits the level of fine as well as the powers of the magistrates court.

Hang on - you telling me that she could only afford this ? £1300 !
I think some one needs a tax audit.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


The regular Officer safety training days are also used to address changes in the law and predictable updates on health and legislation also if any changes have been brought in to current methods or changes is policy.
After all it will Officer safety training classes that will inevitably be responsible for training in any new personal safety equipment - they do the firearms training for using CS spray.
So my little fuzzy brain wanted to ask you out there in number of hours - how many hours a year do you think we are currently trained and how much do you expect us to be trained ?

oh and Officer safety training is not the same as the emergency life saving training we get.

Ps. where is my taser?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Manor

The daystar burns my eyes. Yes I participated in a late night session with the other suits. It was proportional, it certainly was over the legal limit, I think the Ds & Di were definitely accountable for the state everyone got into and it was most definitely necessary.

Team bonding. Yes it is a lovely thing.

I am quite fortunate I think as the Team I have joined have all just either transferred in or moved over to the station to add a new team to the departments rota - The only exception was the DS & DI who I knew quite well from the 6 months working in the prisoner processing team.

I feel a bit naked going to work in a shirt and tie that is not white and black. I also feel a lot better that I am not in a uniform and that I am that little bit more approachable .(Yes I have had comments about that ! ) So far I have ducked any major work due to clearing my workplate from Christmas however this will be my first weekend "on" where I will be working a 10 day stretch over the weekend. Cross your fingers !

Now where did I put that aspirin ?

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Dynamite coughs up

So little Ms Dynamite puts her hands up and pleads guilty to the offences of assaulting a police officer and disorderly conduct yet her brother Kingsley Daley pleaded not guilty to a charge of obstructing police !

she's back on Tuesday for sentencing !

I know a lot of people must think its appears to be a bit trivial however even officers have the right to work in an environment and expect not to be assaulted every waking moment of work.

Yes it is a robust role, however those in the public limelight and are current youth role models cannot be excused of this sort of behavior which is clearly alcohol fueled

This is not the first time Ms Dynamite has been touched by the law for assault. Back in SeptemberMs Dynamite had a brush with an allegation of assault that the police declined to prosecute Ms Dynamite for.

Lets see what the good old judiciary come up with.

Monday, January 09, 2006

The long ride

It was only a few days ago I wrote about the danger of cycling.
What a tragedy on Sunday the deaths of the cyclists in Wales, my thoughts and wishes go out to all their family's,loved ones and friends

While it appears to be at this stage a tragic accident we should never forget that metal is stronger than flesh.
The roads are a dangerous place and should be treated with respect and care.

I noted when I spoke about tickets for those who commit road traffic offences on pedal cycles and motorists who blatantly ignore stop lines I got a few interested readers from cyclingplus
I read the forum and posts on the subject and while I agree with many of the posts there I see the leak of the loonies seep in.

For the record - Police officers are people just like you. Until certain members of the public accept that and remove their own stereotypes of power hunger badge welding Nazi's they are no better than those who commit hate offences them selves.

I am probably going to get hammered for this post, but I detest all forms of hate crime and bigotry. The only people I dislike are those who commit offences, even then I treat them with respect and professionalism.

Be safe, be seen.
Wear your safety gear and ride carefully folks

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Dynamite result

Award winning rapper Ms Dynamite has been charged with assaulting a female police officer after a fracas outside a London nightclub.

"A 25-year-old was charged with assaulting a female police officer and with disorderly conduct on January 6," a Metropolitan police spokeswoman said on Saturday.

Ms Dynamite, real name Niomi McLean-Daley, won the coveted Mercury Music Prize for her album "A Little Deeper" in 2002 and has won a string of prizes since, including Brit Awards and MOBOs (Music of Black Origin).

The star's brother, Kingsley Daley, 22, was charged with obstructing the police, while a women, Carlene Godwin, 24 was charged with creating a public disorder in connection with the incident.

All three will appear before Bow Street Magistrates Court on Jan 13, police said.

LONDON (Reuters)

Now I ask you is this the type of basic disrespect and depths that today's young adults have. Great message you sent out there. Lets see what the magistrates do.

Bets and comments on the sentence folks...

Let it snow

Can you see what it is yet Rolf ?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

True to my word

I knew It would happen.

Out on enquires collecting CCTV and witness statements I was making my way back in the crappy little panda car and sitting at a red light with an advance stop line and green box when I noted another driver pull up along side me and drive slowly in to the green box and over the advance stop line.

oh dear.

I made eye contact with the driver and indicated pointing down at the road to draw his attention to the markings to which he blankly looked at me and started to slowly pull forward again.

The blue lights went on and I pulled the driver over on the other side of the lights
The conversation went like this ( abbrv for clarity )

Me. Sir are you aware that the white line is a stop line ?
Him. But there was no one in front of me

Me. The green area is for pedal cycles your driving a car
Him. yea so im in a hurry

Me. Inform the driver that he is getting a ticket etc etc
Him. Cant you find some thing better to do and catch real criminals

Me. Sir if you didn't commit this offence I would be. Here's your ticket.
Him. Drives off in a huff

Me. Gets back in car and drives off

2 hours later.

Control . Control to TBL - Oscar unit on speak thru to you regarding your last stop.
Oscar unit . yea that last stop and ticket you dished out ?

Me. yea

Oscar unit . yea well we have just processed your man for failing to stop at a red ats and a few others and PG9'd his car FYI.

Me. heheheh

oh the joy.

A Cowboy's Work is Never Done

Ride...I used to jump my horse and ride
I had a six-gun at my side
I was so handsome women cried
And I got shot but I never died

I could play if I'd do everything he'd say
Girls seemed to just get in his way
Those days we weren't considered fun
A cowboy's work is never done

He'd fight crime all the time, he'd always win
Till his mom would break it up and call him in
He was tough, he was hard, but he was fine
And he was slow 'cause guys like him were hard to find

Ride...I'd like to ride again someday
I think I still know how to play
I play games now but it's not fun
A cowboy's work is never done.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


So yea watching the news it appears that there is some complaint about the figures on the dna database

Pisst just a quick one, every police officer is also on the database as to eliminate any crime scene contamination samples. How many officers now is it ?

To be honest I think its a great tool, but a tool nonethe less that is tempered with investigation and judicial over view in the courts.

I wonder how every body else feels about this system ?

Oh and according to my lovely new 2006 diary on January the 4th 1981 British police arrested Peter Sutcliffe the "Yorkshire ripper" I guess that must have cleared a few crime figures.

So much for that

Well the best laid plans of men and mice etc.
today I have spent the better half taking statements from witness to serious crime no, wait sorry no such thing, I mean an Indictable offence.

If you read the odd police blog you may have heard reference to the Five part police statement and a good model it is as well. What you may not have had or seen/know of is the part were officers before taking a statement should make notes and then write the statement.

Today for two statements I took 4 pages of notes for the first statement that resulted in a 8 page full statement and the second I took 5 pages that also resulted in an 10 page statement

This took me 5 hours in all to take two statements! HARK I hear you cry how come ?

Well if you want a job done right..
These statements are going to be read by my colleges , boss, supervisors, CPS , barrister and a plethora of people involved in the judicial system that I feel its right to get as much details and clarity in them as possible.

Others would think I have wasted time. I don't think so.
During the statement taking I am also representing the face of the Met police to the witness and victims of crime. Been professional and meticulous is not wasting time in my eyes

So Mr Supervisor who thinks we can "bash out a quick statement , take you 20 mins" go boil your head.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Back to work

Well by now most of the working world will have been back to work or going back in the next few days if we were not smart enough or had any holiday leave left to take to work of those extra few mince pie pounds.

I have got my new time table, a desk, a phone and a empty four drawer filling cabinet and a new boss. A quick look at the Crime system on the old computer I also have 32 crime's that have been "screened" in to me to investigate. I just glanced at them rather than properly take a decent look today. I will make a start on the pile tomorrow.

I also have spend all my lovely chrimbo money in next snapping up all those shirts, and shiny trousers that will
befit my low level pay :) With a bit of luck I will be getting away from the detection game of volume crime the beat crimes department dealt with, no doubt there will still be the home office targets etc to meet but less of the pointless paper shift and report making for the records!. I have also finally booked my UK driving test since its just coming up to two years here and I need a UK license to progress in my police driving skills !

Happy new year and all that Jazz

Happy new year folks,
I wish you all a good new year and good luck in all your adventures and projects in the coming year.

See ya's all on the flip side ! TBL
Investigations - 183 | Crimes Solved- 85 | No Crime - 47
% Detection rate - 46.4 % (Counting year April 08 )

Investigations - 129 | Crimes Solved- 53 | No Crime - 36
% Detection rate - 49.3 % (Counting year April 07 )